Second To All

But what I won’t do is refuse to choose that I don’t have any more love for you

Because if it wasn’t for you, my skull wouldn’t have a few short screws loose

I allowed you constant attention, for you were in despair over my affection

Here is time making it known that there’s only room for one

Here is time letting it be shown that in first place will be your son

In his eyes you see his mother

Will it be possible to find another

A woman with butter cream in her thighs and a steel plated heart

If empathy had ears, it could hear my footsteps strolling the path of your shoes

And if empathy had a tongue, it could taste every tear that died on my lips

Full of aches and salt, empathy has left me sorry and skinny

Much like you through and through, that baby boy will soon grow tall

Here is time handed to me upon a gold painted platter

Here is time showing mercy to none

Here is time calling to me, “You’ll always be second to everyone.”

Zero Hour

When will it end, or is it only beginning?

If we forfeit the game will it still feel like winning?

You were wonderful you know?

Never practiced but still stole the show

I was clapping for you in the first row

Flushed out my heart until it blended with the snow

I kept the summer out at arms length

Until zero hour, I needed you for strength

I hoped you needed me as much as I needed you

I wished you’d fight for me the way that I would fight for you

I wanted you to love me more than I loved you

Would you believe me if I told the truth?

Winter’s coming.

But for you, it’s nothing.

No One But You

How gently I placed your now bluish face on top of your favorite pillow,

Kept in mind the fact that you had loved falling asleep on your tummy,

And how I thoroughly cleaned out the blood filled dirt from every pore on your skin,

Or how only nineteen days before that I had completely taken your breath away,

Baring down on your throat after our fight about who does the grocery shopping,

And the short amount of time it took to see the life in your dark, glossy eyes die,

Or how often I had threatened to leave you so that you’d have to grow old alone,

No one knows.

No one knows about our inevitable demise.

No one even says my name.

No one knows but you.

They haven’t heard my exaggerated tales of abuse,

My cunning lies to keep my devious persona satisfied,

The stories I told you in the dark while we linked together under the sheets,

Those songs we used to sing along to in the car while driving across the bridge,

My incessant whines that begged you to pay me your full attention,

The heavy moans, deep sighs, puerile cries, and all of our raillery.

Still, no one knows.

No one knows that the fault is of my own.

No one but you.

Luna Girls

Finally, my courage had been hooked and baited.

As steady as a mother’s hand, I took aim for the target.

She knew my intentions were unclear.

I’d hit the hot spot with a single shot.

I’d struck the dead center of her sternum.

That was the moment when her skin had lost its strawberries & cream,

She then became colorless, pale like the moon,

And as la luna does so with every passing night,

That very flesh glowed and beamed above my dreary head.

I watched her through a kaleidoscope.

Bit by bit, her blue eyes bursted until they

Were cascading down my cheeks like shattered pieces

of waterfall.

My thoughts were then laid to rest as every muttered word flowed straight back,

Twisting themselves in and out of my hair,

‘Til they were seeping down to the core of my splitting cerebrum.

There they stay, locked away,

Waiting for her heat that is the key.

Once unchained, she will call my name

And thus begins my misery.

Hard Bodies

When I have no one’s chest to hide under,

and no other arm to rest my cheek upon,

no fingers to intertwine with my own,

and no one’s legs to pull down the weight of my knees,

no collar bone for me to brush my lonely lips across,

no one’s hair to conceal the smell of my repentance,

and no other voice to speak the syllables of my name,

no one’s eyes to watch over my breathe as I fall into a new dream,

and no other hips to press my palms into,

no one’s scars to trace or freckles to memorize,

no teeth to reprimand my childish lamentations,

and no shoulders that I can dig my chin into,

no other ears to tug on when I’m itching for affection,

no thighs that have the notion to wrap themselves around my waist,

no one’s tongue to break apart my quizzical demeanor,

and no hard body that I can throw my asperity up against

I feel ill.

Though certainly I’m not sick,

only heavy.

Coral Bells

 

Keep the soles of your bare feet planted deep into the center of your birth

As you squish and squash your toes through the quiet mud of the Earth.

If your face were to be scolded by a sweltering piece of the sultry sky,

I would harness the new moon to comfort your swollen eyes.

Out there you will shimmer beneath the power of her shine,

But as for me, her shepherd’s staff will be my guide through the pines.

Hear and Listen.

If I were to be burned by our father’s scorching light,

Would you hide me with the coral bells in the desolate desert of the night?

I believed that I could keep you close enough to call you home,

And trap the swirls of stardust underneath the bell jar’s dome.

The clouded steps of paradise led you far away from Mars.

Don’t trust that I am genuine until you’ve made it to the stars.

Look and see.

I’ll retain my foliage in the winter when it snows,

And if we are to meet again, I’ll tell you where truth grows.

Before you leave, promise me that you will save us a penny,

So that when we collide on both sides we can feast with many.

Without your love I look purple and without your touch I feel blue.

All the pieces of my body are now nothing but a bruise.

Take and feel.

Lay me down next to the petals of my sweet coral bells,

And turn my lungs right side up so that they can never swell.

You may forget about the past, but I will always remember the future.

My once most precious dream plays out as you sprint to kiss her.

Let’s trust that the wind will engulf me with its most gracious of breezes,

And soon it will not matter if my heart contracts or freezes.